Archive for October, 2011

A Word of Advice

October 3, 2011

A father of the bride speech:

For Addy and Prince-

Again – welcome!

This is where I’m supposed to set a comfortable, light-hearted mood by telling a joke or an amusing story – For those of you who have heard me try to deliver a joke I will spare you that anxiety…

This is a great day!

We are here to celebrate a great love:

that of Addy and Prince.

Who would have imagined this?

At almost any other time and place these two would never have met and the world would be poorer for it.

Speaking to Pam and me this past summer, Senior Chief said something that has stuck with us. He said the greatest and most unexpected experiences come through our children. I commend Senior Chief on his wisdom – I never in my wildest imagination pictured this for my daughter’s wedding day. How could I know that she would fulfill every little girl’s dream by actually marrying a prince? Thank you Julie and Philip for producing such a fine young man!

Working in the yard I have been trying to think of what I should say to my daughter and her husband, what piece of wisdom, what sage advice I could share today.  After all, if you haven’t noticed, this isn’t a typical marriage. So I’m out back feeding the fish and thinking hard…

If you have been to our house you know we have a small pond and stream in the back. When we were looking to move from our old house I said I wanted to move to where I saw a sunset or had a water view. The house we bought had neither, so Zach and I dug out a pond and stream bed to correct that oversight.

I read many books about ponds, about filtration, plant types, fish species – a full bookshelf’s worth of plans. Every detail was worked out to create a magnificent self-sustaining system of exotic lilies and colorful koi. a slice of paradise in my own backyard.

And most of it crapped out in the first few weeks.

But one of the amazing things about life is its ability to come forth on its own terms – this is “pond speak” for algae. The fancy bullfrog tadpoles we bought disappeared, but were quickly replaced by local frogs and the exotic lilies that never bloomed were uprooted for plants from a nearby swamp each Father’s Day. The pond has grown and changed over the years. We have had to replace the fish a few times after feeding a wandering heron or raccoon. A couple of times a year I have to pull out all the dead leaves, replace some tumbled down rocks and the water is still never clear…

This pond is nothing like I had planned, it has taken on a life of its own it exists on its own terms. I love it. It’s my water-view.

And that’s my marriage advice – let it exist on its own terms, don’t overplan, but know you will need to put in some serious work. Let life take over and share it. And know this: Every once in a while, no matter what anyone says,  you might need to replace the pump.

Congratulations – Addy and Prince